Telling the Story Part 5: Getting the Conversation Started

"But I wouldn't know what to say."
That's the number one response I hear when suggesting that people start talking about their faith.
It's scary to try something new. What if we do it wrong? We might offend somebody. 
 Yes, we could possibly offend somebody. On the other hand, we could also inspire somebody who really needs to be inspired. We could help put someone on a new and exciting life path. We could grow closer to people we don't know very well, and put ourselves on a new and exciting life path. 
The goal of talking about your faith is not to win converts. It is to simply share what you understand as good news. Whether or not people agree that it is good news, and whether they choose to do anything about it is up to them. Most people who start coming to church do so because someone they know invited them. It is awkward to invite someone to church "out of the blue," but if you talk about your experiences in church and someone expresses interest in it, it becomes easy and perfectly natural to issue an invitation. 

In talking about faith, the key is to speak about your own experience. Try to keep it positive.  The main reason people are uncomfortable hearing people talk about faith is that a lot of religious people broadcast their judgmental attitudes in the media. On social media accounts people have made comments to me like, "Since you are a Christian, I assumed you were hateful."  That saddens me but it doesn't really surprise me.
Also, think twice about venting to non-church members about church conflicts. Churches are made up of human beings, and churches experience conflicts. Church conflicts can be painful for church members, and people need to work through them. It's fine to acknowledge that your church has experienced or is experiencing conflict, but if you are presenting only a negative view about your church to others you are feeding the conflict.

When talking about your faith, use "I" statements such as "I feel," "I like," "I appreciate." Avoid "you" statements, especially ones like, "you should," "you ought," and "you need."

When talking to people who are not part of your church, don't go out of your way to mention your faith. That will most likely create an awkward moment.  However, many people find that the more you talk about your faith with people who share your faith, the more you will naturally find yourself compelled to talk about your faith outside of church.  It is important to follow any ethical rules that apply where you work or volunteer. 

I've come up with some icebreaker phrases to use in talking about your faith.

With other people in your church:
"I really appreciated _____ in church today."
"I've always liked it when we do _______ in church."
"I would like to see more _______ happen in our church."
"I've always wanted to try/start ________ in our church."
"I've been praying a lot about _______."
"I'm starting to feel that God is calling me to ________."

With people who are not part of your church:
"I will pray for [your problem.]"
"My church has a prayer list. Would you like us to pray about [your problem]?"
"I"m still praying about [your problem.] How is it going?"
"I don't know what to think/do about [a personal problem/problem in the world.] I'm praying about it a lot."
"I'm in a good mood because in church we did ______ yesterday."
"I'm looking forward to _______ coming up at church."
"My pastor/Bible Study group/friends at church were just talking about that."

Talking about faith sounds scary, but many people find that once they start it becomes rewarding and fun and they never want to stop. Whatever you are on your journey of talking about your faith, I wish you well.
This is part of a series. Read the introductory post here:
Read Part 2, about Offering Hospitality, here.
Part 3, about Telling the Story without Words, here.
Part 4, Talking about Faith, is here.

Telling the Story Part 4: Talking about Faith

It was well over one hundred degrees outside when I heard a knock on the front door of my air-conditioned third floor walk-up. When I answered the rush of heat in the foyer nearly knocked me backwards. Standing before me I saw two young men dressed in white dress shirts and ties, with backpacks on their backs: Mormon Missionaries.
"Come in out of this heat!" I insisted. Dazed and a little surprised, they sat down and removed their backpacks.
"Have you been taking regular breaks?" I asked, concerned.
"Not really, " Elder Number One responded.
"Let me get you some cold water," I said, running to the kitchen. I brought each of them glasses of ice water.
They thanked me and and then started in on their spiel. Had I heard about the church of Jesus Christ?
I laughed. "Yes, but I'm not interested. I was just concerned about your safety on this hot day."
"Well, maybe you could try to convert us to your point of view," Elder Number Two suggested. Again, I laughed. This was clearly a clever gambit that they had been trained to use on us non-Mormons.
"No, thanks. I think you're fine just the way you are." Maybe because the heat had gotten to them, they gave up trying to evangelize me at this point and we just made polite chit-chat as they finished drinking their water. After I finished lecturing them about how they really should carry ample bottled water in their bags, they left and resumed their appointed rounds.
Most people, myself included, can't imagine doing anything like what those young men do. They must face near constant rejection every day, not to mention angry dogs and doors slammed in their faces, during their terms of service, which usually last two years. I did once have a job that involved walking door to door, for the City Directory (a book rendered useless by the Internet), but people tended to be nice to me once they figured out all I wanted from them was a little information. These days I don't knock on the doors of strangers very often, but I talk about my faith all the time. It comes with the territory of being a Pastor. It's like pretty much anything else--it gets easier with practice.
Most mainline Protestants don't like to talk about our faith. Most people work in secular settings, and we don't want to offend anyone or even get in trouble. We don't want to alienate our neighbors and make our friends feel awkward. But we tend not to even talk about our faith with each other--even in church. That's sad. The Congregational tradition talks about "testimonies of faith, not tests of faith" but we don't make testimonies very often, either. I think that's too bad. It's also endangering the future of our tradition. Mainline Protestant churches began to decline seriously right around the time that our members started having a lot fewer children. If we want our churches to survive, we need to do something that our forebearers in faith probably have not done for hundreds of years: many more of us need to start opening up about our faith. Some may not ever feel comfortable with it, and that's okay. But many more might find, as I have, that it isn't as tough as they feared.
This is part of a series. Read the introductory post here:
Read Part 2, about Offering Hospitality, here.
Part 3, about Telling the Story without Words, is here.